Sunday, August 22, 2010

always something more


A professor at Cambridge told me that I will inevitably end my rowing career dissatisfied. While this might seem a gloomy outlook on life, he has a point. You will always wonder if you could have done more; e.g. retire after winning an Olympic Gold, and you will always wonder if you could have won two. The only possible escape from this certitude is to never retire, in which case you will wonder why you have spent your entire life rowing instead of doing cooler things.
Yesterday was the finals for the National Selection Regatta (NSR). We have a two or three NSRs every year to determine where everybody stacks up against each other, how effective the training has been in the preceding months, and to allow an opportunity for second tier rowers to show their abilities against national team rowers. Me and my partner placed 2nd. For anybody, and especially for somebody in their first year of rowing for the national team, this is an incredible result.
At the same time, I find myself frustrated with 2nd place. Within an hour of finishing the race, I had already examined my performance and the splits from my race, figuring out how we couldhave/shouldhave won the race. I do believe we couldhave/shouldhave won the race, given a perfect performance. The fact is, however, that we did not win the race, despite having a great race. It is so hard to let go of an imperfect performance, despite the fact that I have yet to experience a perfect race. Sadly enough, dissatisfaction is a crucial part of the life of a rower, and is what keeps us going.
The next month is going to get a bit crazy, as we start selection in earnest for the world championships in November.

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