DRUGS!!! ... testing.

There is something peculiarly terrifying about having a grown man watch you pee. I posture awkwardly over the toilet for a full five minutes, pressed too close in a tiny bathroom to a stranger I met a few minutes before. I feel an strong desire to apologize, but resist the urge. Jeff, my "chaperone", yawns with a blase attitude.

I had my first drug test yesterday, yet another surreal experience to add to the list of surreal experiences one has as a full-time athlete. Its an essential part of trying to compete in the Olympics, and everybody must suffer it. For many of my older teammates, the bizarreness of the experience has totally worn off, and they complain about drug tests the way most people complain about traffic.

For me, however, the experience is novel. I don't mind it in the slightest, and in fact feel somewhat honored that somebody deems me good enough to warrant suspicion of cheating. (I should clarify that drug tests from USADA are completely random for athletes in the testing pool, and have no relationship with suspicion). Additionally, drug tests confirm what I already know; nobody in the US is stupid enough to cheat at rowing. There just isn't enough (or any) money at stake.

2.5 liters of water and a beer later, I did overcome my stage fright enough to provide a suitable sample. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself the entire time. We collected and packaged the sample, and sent it off to a lab somewhere in Utah. Another complete stranger will open up the package and play with my urine with various vials, syringes and spectrometers. Even though I never have and never will use banned substances, I do feel a minute anxiety about the possibility of a mistake. Lets hope I pass.